We are a young and fresh couple with great ambitions.
SANDE AND TAMARA DOTYENI
We are a young and fresh couple with great ambitions. We are best friends. Our families are in East London and Fort Beaufort. We both have one sister and one brother. Our parents are separated. So there are a few common things about us.
What do you do as a profession and include qualifications (both)? We are both in business. Sande is in the transport sector and Tamara is in the hair and beauty sector. Sande manages contracts with Woolworths and Daily Dispatch whilst Tamara owns and manages the Diva Divine Distributor outlet on this side of the country (Eastern Cape). Tamara is qualified in marketing however has always had a passion for the hair and beauty industry. “I consider the African women as being precious and valuable. That is why I have always been passionate about making women look and feel beautiful”.
What defines you as a person (both)? We are both defined by a simple quote: “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It’s not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” – Marianne Williamson, Author, Lecturer
What does your career entail (both)? As a starting point it must be understood that both of us resigned from our previous places of work to pursue business. We have therefore made it our life mission to create a lasting legacy with our businesses not only for ourselves but also our employees. We have but one philosophy which we have learnt from the French and that is “we work to live and not live to work.” Therefore most of our efforts at work are meant to improve the quality of our lives and bring forth more happiness. If it doesn’t make us happy, we always avoid it and try our best not to do it. But we never make any excuses about not wanting to work hard. Hard work at anything you do will always lead to some form of success.
How did it all start [How did you meet up]? We met in 2011 here in East London and married in 2013. We married because we were in love, best friends and a common vision for our lives.
How do you stay committed, what is the recipe? I guess we are still in love. Our marriage is still young to require commitments in keeping it alive. We don’t have any kids yet. We have no serious pressures and I think if you ask us that question in 10 years we will have a good answer for you. But what we always try and do is to be honest to one another despite how difficult it may be.
How did you know that your partner is the one, to even decide to tie knot? Marriage is the right thing to do. If you love someone and would like to commit to that person for a long time marriage is the right thing to do. People may not always be able to marry one another but deciding to marry for us was inspired by the need to protect and serve each other in life. Both of us are children of divorce/separated parents and therefore we understand that things do fall apart and regardless how involved people may be, divorce can happen. But we were not going to commit less to each other because of the negative possibilities. We will always try to make things work for the both of us. It was this understanding that led us to agree on marriage.
Young Love: Would you say that love still exists, explain further. Yes love exists. Love should be understood in the context of religion. Regardless which faith you believe in, Love is God and God is love. People will then say that beauty misleads people and they are simply attracted to people because of beauty. Our view is that beauty is part of love. If you don’t think your partner is beautiful it may leave you unsatisfied as equal as it would if you found a beautiful wife that doesn’t connect with you emotionally. The difference between our love and Gods love is imperfection. Our love is imperfect. Our challenge as people is that we expect a perfect love from imperfect human beings and we don’t get it. When we don’t get it, we accuse the world of not having love. We must all learn that our love is imperfect and we must always encourage one another as couples to improve the way we love. The best way to help each other as couples is to communicate.
Tamara: What is your husband’s favourite meal? My husband loves a variety of meals. Sea food or an Italian dish. Either of those two will make him smile.
Sande: What defines your love for your wife? My wedding vows best answer this question. “I, Sande Dotyeni take you Tamara, to be my lawfully wedded wife, secure in the knowledge that you will be my constant friend, my faithful partner in life, and my one true love.”
Your holiday destination and why? New York – because we can watch as many NBA basketball games as possible and also shop at the some of the best stores.
BUSINESS WITH LOVE
As far as I know, you are in business together. How does that feel? It feels good to be in business together. We can always mix business with pleasure and that’s important for us.
How do you avoid business related issues not to interfere with your personal lives (vice versa)? Business issues will always interfere with your personal life especially if you operate a small to medium size business in South Africa. But we try our best to avoid it.
How did you came about developing the Countdown Music Festival? The Countdown Music Festival is a joint effort by individuals based in the Eastern Cape passionate about this province and its rich Arts and Culture. But the festival is also driven by a simple wish which is to see this province, a home of legends, become one of the entertainment mecca’s in Africa during the festive period. This festival can help this province realise this goal.
Who else is involved in the project (Countdown Music Festival)? The project is managed by LGVN events management. My fellow partners always say that we should promote the festival rather than ourselves. We want the festival to be the centre of attention rather than ourselves. It should not matter who owns it. All the great festivals in the world that have been around for years sometimes owners are unknown. Those festivals are successful because the event becomes less about the owners and more about the vision and mission. I hope this satisfies you and your readers.
How do you plan to revitalise it even more to citizens even more? Well we plan many more great things for the festival. However we must also understand that finance plays a critical role in these things. What is certain is that 2015 will be much better than the first Countdown. Rain or no rain, we will make history again. We will also address the rain problem so that festival goers don’t get wet and are sheltered because we realise that New Year’s Eve likes to be wet. We encourage all possible sponsors to make contact with us to discuss possible partnerships in bringing the best festival this country has seen.
How do you spend your normal time as couple? We chill at home and bond. Spending quality time together is critical for us.
What advice would you give to someone who wants to get married but afraid? Fear not. As long as you love one another things will work out. There are no guarantees in life. Take a chance.
How do you keep your relationship alive? Always try to impress your husband or wife. Always appreciate each other.
What do you listen to and watch? Watch a lot of stand-up comedy.